I forgot to lock my computer today when I wandered away from my desk. Here is the resulting mass email, subject: “Moving On…”

After two years of service here at ESPN.com, I have decided to move on and pursue my life long dream of winning Dancing with the Stars. The dynamic tandem of Ru Paul and myself will be fox-trotting, waltzing, and cha-cha-cha-ing our way straight to the top. Please be sure to text in and vote for us starting this September on ABC.

One would think that after 2 years and twenty or so of these ridiculous emails I would learn my lesson. Apparently, not so much.